El arroz al horno… Ya está en el horno!! :D
- 26th May
2012 - 26
- 24th May
2012 - 24
“Why are you so angry?”
“BECAUSE I’M AN ANGRY PERSON, OK?”
(Source: pafhan)
- 23rd May
2012 - 23
Season 2 wrap video by Hawaii Five-0’s cast & crew!
- 23rd May
2012 - 23
(Source: pleatedjeans, via pafhan)
- 23rd May
2012 - 23
- 22nd May
2012 - 22
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
- Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
- Witness: "I only have one, you know."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
- Witness: "By death."
- Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
- -----
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
- The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
- Witness: "July 15th."
- Lawyer: "What year?"
- Witness: "Every year."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
- Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
- Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
- Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
- Witness: "Er...his face."
- -----
- Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
- Witness: "I forget."
- Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
- Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
- Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
- Witness: "Forty-five years."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
- Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
- Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
- Witness: "My name is Susan."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What happened then?"
- Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
- Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
- Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
- -----
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- -----
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
- Witness: "Yes sir."
- Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
- Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
- -----
- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
- Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
- Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
- Witness: "I could see his head."
- Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
- Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
- Witness: "The victim lived."
- 22nd May
2012 - 22
I was helping my little brother
Where the fuck does jack come from
That’s basically what math is like for the rest of your life.
I love how the answer is at the bottom of the page. And how is any kid suppose to know how many stickers Jack has? Does Tani and Jen give Jack their stickers? I wish I was Jack. My friends never give me stickers.You’re all missing the point. This isn’t math. Rather it’s metaphysics, or the existence of our being. Theoretically speaking, Jack isn’t a person. Jack exists in all of us. We are Jack. Jack is all of us. Every single one of us. In each inept part of our being, our existence, Jack lives. Forgotten and ignored, yet he exists in our never ending subconscious. The question, rather, is how many stickers do we all have?
(via psych-0saltgunner)
- 22nd May
2012 - 22
(Source: lokalrunde, via erienne1983)
- 22nd May
2012 - 22
Alex & Dusty (May 2012) photo: @cocojor
- 21st May
2012 - 21
(Source: chiepleaseavoidthebullshits, via l-u-ke)
- 21st May
2012 - 21
@KermitinaFrogwf :)
(Source: whysoserious-asdfghjkl, via yadwhiga)
- 21st May
2012 - 21
Expresiones desfasadas de los 80
-Mover el esqueleto.
-Cantidubi dubi, cantidubi dubi da.
-Efestivi Wonder.
-¿Pero qué Pretenders?
-¡Ya ves truz!
-El otro, Maroto y el de la moto.
-Vacilar con las nenas.
-Alucina vecina.
-¡Cómo mola la gramola!
-Guay del Paraguay.
-Nasty de Plasty.
-Tranki, no te pongas nervi.
-Rizando el rizo de la anterior: tranki, no te pongas nervi que hay confi.
-A la cola Pepsicola.
-Rebota, rebota y en tu culo explota.
-Alucinas pepinillos.
-A mi plin, yo duermo en Pikolín.
-La cagaste Burt Lancaster.
-No te enrolles Charles Boyer.
-Nones, camarones.
-A medio día, alegría.
-Lo llevas clarinete.
-Ojo al manojo.
-Hacer biruji.
-Dar un voltio.
-¿Digamelón?
-Chachi piruli Juan Pelotillas.
-Flipar en colores.
-Okey Makey.
-Toma Jeroma Pastillas de Goma.
-Ser un Pinfloi.
-Ir a la discoteque.
-Pasarlo Pirata.
-Nos salen granos de verte.
-Parece menterio.
-La semana que nieve.
-No merece la pierna.
- A la par que jurásico.
-Da Gloria Gaynor.
-Y si eres más de aquí: da Gloria Fuertes.
-Me es individual
-Ni falta que me apetece
-¿Qué tal tu mujer y mis hijos?
-Aqui andamios
-Hola caracola-¿De qué vas, biterkas?
-Ok McKey
-Este capítulo de Los Simpson no lo he visto
-Rebobinar
Mi señora añade “Agur, Ben Hur, que te comas un yogur”.
Soy una desfasada de la vida, digo muchas. Y agrego: Hasta luego, cocodrilo.
(Source: prohibidopulsarelboton, via gusilux)
- 20th May
2012 - 20
(Source: docbrucebanner, via erienne1983)
- 20th May
2012 - 20
(Source: pushthemovement, via olachlan)
- 20th May
2012 - 20
(Source: thebaxinator, via finduilasclln)
